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You ain't going to get it Juicy! Using the Perl modules LWP::UserAgent, LWP::RobotUA, HTTP::Cookies, HTML::Parser, HTML::LinkExtor and LWP::Protocol::Proxy, I've constructed the most complex web spider ever attempted before.
Activated by a random timer cron job, for the past two weeks it has been quietly fetching every posting ever made to these forums. Once the time and date has been extracted, it's then placed into an Oracle database, which is now over three gigs in size.
Working in parallel with this front end is an AI program that was written by a team of russian script kiddies that I found on Elance. It's interlocking cyber-nueral network learns as it attempts to predict the times of the next postings based upon the vast store of information its already mined and weighted by previous guesses. It is now accurate to within a tenth of a second for 30 postings into the future (except between 5 and 6 PM, when it still hasn't a clue). At the rate it's been learning, tomorrow at this time, it will have attained that accuracy for 300 postings into the future.
And by Sunday, it will know the very moment of that two millionth post. Because it's set to make it! That's right- my plan is so devious that I not only will have the exact guess, but I will be making the winning posting as well! HAHAHAHAHAH! Vegasdude has nothing on me this time around. All the prizes will be mine. All mine!!!
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