technically yes. we got hitched in 2014 as I couldn't move with him to Turks and Caicos (he was offered a good job there and both of us wanted to get out of Canada. 3 words: Arctic Polar Vortex) without marital status
so we eloped in a snow storm in hoodies and jeans. was so awesome. drank champagne courtesy of a local resto that actually believed that we just got married considering our attire and comped us a bottle (helped I knew one of the waitresses) in a snow bank with our impromptu witnesses. one of whom was at city hall that day protesting the mayor at the time removing the pride flag. in all our pictures she was posing with styled thumbs up in sumo squat position
I just went up to her and asked "hey, can you be a witness at our wedding?'. offered to pay her but was completely rebuffed on that. she was all 'absolutely, I love love'. total vibesy woman
were together including living together for about 18 years. I left him 2 1/2 years ago as we wanted diff things out of life. he got really staid and unhappy when we moved to Kingston JA and I tried to fix it but couldn't. I was pretty worn down by that point as well. he just mentally aged 20 years overnight. his dad's influence and smoking too much weed and playing video games or watching movies every fucking moment he wasn't working had a lot to do with it. to this day I do not own a TV. 'pon the TV rack mounted to the wall in my current pad I have hung Ugandan masks and Indonesian scarves. much more me
I had to make a new life for myself in a new to me country and had to do it alone as he wasn't interested. even tho he was raised here. never even wanted to see his friends from back in the day. rather I'd be the one to par with them, solo
we parted amicably, are still close and talk often. he initiated a reconciliation but it didn't work, so we both decide to just stay close friends. no matter what I will always love him and I know the same is true for him. he was my first 'real bf' (prior to him I liked and now again enjoy playing the field) and still I threw up when he asked me to move in with him I was so terrified. he waited til I was ready and it was so good
the deal when we split was we would stay married til I got my JA citizenship but I've had that for a while and still neither of us want to file
I'll never get married again (if I'm in something I'm in 1000% and too much to deal with again) so I don't really care. when he meets the right woman (I hope he does, he's far more traditional than me) he can file and zero drama. I'll sign/do whatever. no kids, no shared assets, no lawyers needed
I left with my art, my books, my exercise equipment, my coffee table (I really love my coffee table; all these neat kinda roughly hewed black/brown/grey/purple tiles on top and a wrought iron shelf for books underneath), my bank accounts (we never had a shared one) and the cats. he got the car and household furnishings, all of which I bought as when we landed he didn't have a job yet. was a fair resolution to that 'property/money' ish and far easier than the emotions of saying goodbye mentally before walking out the door
so going on 9 years of 'official' marriage. 18 if you count the years we blissfully lived in sin. 20 and some in total
relationships are complicated. growing apart from a loved one sucks. happy for those years but have totally moved on
consider myself lucky we're still friends. would be weird and painful to cut out someone from my life that was such a significant part of it for half of it
you married OP? what's your story?
