The article is satirical in making the interpretation of Acacia claiming patent on Teleportation. Inbetween the humor lies these points:
1) patents are sometimes written very broadly and slip by the USPTO
2) patents can be interpreted by the patent holder to mean whatever they think it means
3) patent holders sue companies to try and enforce their interpretations
4) patents can be invalidated by finding prior art, and by explaining to the judge and jury that the patent is not feasible, or possible.
While Acacia really doesn't claim teleportation (atlease I hope they don't), the article does show actual language that they used, that could allow you to interpret that they claim teleporation.
It's the same kind of language that they are interpretting to think they own the downloading/streaming of audio/video files from a (web) server.
Another satirical piece is about USA Video, another company that websites should be concerned about since they are suing MovieLink for the downloading of videos. (SightSound should also be mentioned here as well for similar claims).
http://www.FightThePatent.com/interview.html
Fight The Patent!