Some people just don't understand the importance of proper ass-wiping technique. "Bah!" You might say, "I've been wiping my ass for years!" But hold on there, friend, ass wiping is an an ancient discipline, lost in this, the age of technology, where computers and machines feed our every whim. Follow the steps set forth below and free yourself from skid marks, poop stains, klingons, and all manner of unpleasant nastiness.
How to wipe your ass
