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after they found I had cancerous tissue in my colon and they had to ram a laser up my ass to burn off the polyps (no anesthesia, wide awake through it all)
the time I was shaving my balls and slipped in the shower and cut my scrotum
one time I was eating an extrememly spicy chicken wing (we're talking native thai level spice) and I took a bite and a piece of the skin somehow flipped up and lodged under my eyelid..I'm surprised it didn't permenantly blind me...
One time I was making up a batch of habenero hot sauce (slicing up raw habeneros) and I wasn't wearing my surgical gloves and and didn't wash my hands good enough and went to take a piss...my dick itched a bit, so I scratched..and I swear my pisshole almost closed up, it burned so bad I was crying like a bitch with a skinned knee...nothing more pathetic than a man standing at a piss stall with tears streaming down his face begging to some unseen deity for a quick death
my life is full of pain......
I won't even get into the time I was dressed as a party clown and got hit in the nuts by a kid in a blindfold aiming for a pinata.....
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