Buff

Marry Me, Ann Coulter
or
How I Discovered Howard Dean is More of a Whackjob than Jerry Brown or Ralph Nader

Treason, Slander, columns galore
Your enemies many dub you "The Conservative Whore"
High Crimes and Misdemeanors
Fuck all those leftist weeners

I am with you on McCarthy,
Reagan, Nixon (not so swarthy)
Your detractors are fanatical, witless tools
Algae contaminating various gene pools

And I would be remiss in my observations
In this offering of marital relations
If I neglected to glorify your luscious, long, blonde hair
Which ought be spilled over my body everywhere

Ann, it's true we were meant to be together
For better or for worse, always and forever
Well, honestly, that's a little too strong
But you'll do until a younger you comes along.

With Sincerest Affections
-- The Adoring Buffster