People Washed Their Mouths Out With Urine
In ancient Rome, pee was such big business that the government had special taxes in place just for urine sales. There were people who made their living just from collecting urine. Some would gather it at public urinals. Others went door-to-door with a big vat and asked people to fill it up.
The ways they used it are the last ones you'd expect. For example, they'd clean their clothes in pee. Workers would fill a tub full of clothing and pee, and then one poor soul would be sent in to stomp all over the clothing to wash it out.
Which is nothing compared to how they cleaned their teeth. In some areas, people used urine as a mouthwash, which they claimed kept their teeth shining white. In fact, there's a Roman poem that survives today in which a poet mocks his clean-toothed enemy by saying, "The fact that your teeth are so polished just shows you're the more full of piss."
Toilets Regularly Exploded
When you entered a Roman toilet, there was a very real risk you would die.
The first problem was that creatures living in the sewage system would crawl up and bite people while they did their business. Worse than that, though, was the methane buildup-which sometimes got so bad that it would ignite and explode underneath you.
Toilets were so dangerous that people resorted to magic to try to stay alive. Magical spells meant to keep demons at bay have been found on the walls of bathrooms. Some, though, came pre-equipped with statues of Fortuna, the goddess of luck, guarding them. People would pray to Fortuna before stepping inside.
Romans Vomited So They Could Keep Eating
Romans took excess to new levels. According to Seneca, Romans at banquets would eat until they couldn't anymore-and then vomit so that they could keep eating.
Some people threw up into bowls that they kept around the table, but others didn't let themselves get so caught up in the formalities. In some homes, people would just throw up right there on the floor and go back to eating.
The slaves are the people you really need to feel sorry for, though. Their jobs were terrible. In the words of Seneca: "When we recline at a banquet, one [slave] wipes up the spittle; another, situated beneath, collects the leavings [vomit] of the drunks."
Charioteers Drank An Energy Drink Made Of Goat Dung
Romans didn't have Band-Aids, so they found another way to patch up wounds. According to Pliny the Elder, people in Rome patched up their scrapes and wounds with goat dung. Pliny wrote that the best goat dung was collected during the spring and dried but that fresh goat dung would do the trick "in an emergency."
That's an attractive image, but it's hardly the worst way Romans used goat dung. Charioteers drank it for energy. They either boiled goat dung in vinegar or ground it into a power and mixed it into their drinks. They drank it for a little boost when they were exhausted.
This wasn't even a poor man's solution. According to Pliny, nobody loved to drink goat dung more than Emperor Nero himself.
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