Quote:
Originally Posted by dyna mo
Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:15pm EDT
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Imagine waking up every single day of your life.... feeling this really deep sense of anxiety and paranoia. Someone is watching you. Someone is manipulating you. Someone is out to get you. Something is wrong. Everything is wrong. I can't trust anyone. Imagine that bad cocaine high where your fight or flight response is in overdrive but you have nothing to attach the feelings you are feeling to.
What do you do?
How do you make it stop?
You can't. ... not for very long at least.
You have to spend all day and all night actively searching for anything to make sense of the ceaseless chatter and to quiet it. You want to make it stop. You want to mute it. You can't. All you can do is find some article about anything... lizard people and say to yourself "see! i was right" and enjoy nothing more than a few fleeting moments of peace before the feelings and voices grow again and overwhelm you... leaving you to do the only thing you possibly can to quiet them, even for a brief moment... find a new conspiracy, a new point, a new idea and new "thing" to say "hey, see!!!... thats why the voices in my head are shouting and the alarm bells are going off and i'm overwhelmed with these sensations that something is horribly wrong!,... something is wrong, I knew it!! i just found it"... and so the cycle goes.
It only stops with medication and therapy... but of course when meds, big pharma and doctors are also a recurring them in his mental finger pointing, he's fucked himself out of a solution.
Imagine the stress. The endless stress. We all know the damage it can do to your body, your health and your immune system... but it also wreaks havoc on your brain as well. He'll die younger than necessary and likely of one of the diseases he spends all day railing about because the constant stress will always overwhelm the body until it finally wins.
The biggest clue as to how emotionally disturbed he is and why what I am saying is true... is that he doesn't have a single favorite conspiracy. To him, everything is a conspiracy. Any conspiracy will do. After all, someone hating government after believing their son died in a Special Ops operation and were lied to about it, the circumstances etc,... might produce a rational distrust of government... but there is no such thing as a rational distrust of everything.