Originally Posted by NemesisEnforcer

Don't be sad, you have about 10 great years left. Within the next 7 years your testosterone level will plummet. Well, you know what that leads to.

When you hit 30, your eyes' sensitivity to low light will begin to decline. The years following will lead to you needing corrective lenses by the time you hit 40. The loss of elasticity in your skin will be apparent in your face from the expression lines.

You will know you're getting old when NFL football players that graduated college at the same time as you are retiring in their mid 30s. People are impressed with 37 year old professional cyclists because of their age. When you do amateur sports 35 and older is called masters, etc.

By the time you hit 40, your prostate will double in size and you will need to go to the bathroom more often. Your body's ability to use oxygen efficiently has diminished. You will need to chew your food more because your body no longer can break down the large chunks of food before it rots in your digestive system giving you gas. You will also start to notice floaters in your eyes but not recognize what they are until a big chunk gets loose.

When you hit 50, it's harder to get a new job. When you hit 54, the media considers you dead and no longer market to you. You also start believing phrases such as, "50 is the new 40."

By the time you hit 60, your body causes the chemistry of the bacteria on your skin to change and you will start to get that "old man smell". Knowing the cause, you can treat this and continue to hang out with 22 year old hookers.

I can go on forever but my dad doesn't talk about it much anymore. He just uses phrases like, "The next step is the grave." and "Remind me to tell you about the secret bank account."