Quote:
Originally Posted by sperbonzo
(Not mine, but hilarious).
Good news: it's OK just to hate the Jews just because they are Jews!
I've seen a ton of posts lately saying that people hate the Zionists, invariably accompanied by "of course, I have nothing against Jews."
I am writing this to help out these posters and save everyone some time. It's perfectly OK to hate Jews because they are a bunch of cheap, hook nosed, rich Jew Bastards. There is no reason to say that you do not or to pretend that this has anything to do with Israel being in the wrong.
According to Wikipedia, there are 11 ongoing conflicts killing more than 1,000 people per year. By my scientific calculations, I've seen approximately 965,312 more angry posts per death in the Israeli Gaza war than is the average for the other ongoing wars. Certainly this is directly related to the fact that one side in this war is a bunch of smelly, crooked money grubbing Jews.
I am writing to tell all the Jew haters that it's perfectly OK to just tell the world that you hate Jews. Explain how you hate their hook noses and how they have too much money and are greedy little Jew bastards. You don't have to wait every 6 years for an Israeli/Gaza conflict or even a skirmish over settlements.
Stand Tall! Stand Proud!
Come right out and regularly denounce those nasty Jew bastards that the world would luckily be rid of if only Hitler had been slightly more efficient.
Freedom of speech - it's not just for saying nice things. It gives you the right to tell everyone how much you hate a particular group of people. Especially if they are Jews.
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You sound like a Jew. :D
Here's what I know about "the Jews". I will break it down into American and Israeli varieties:
American Jews:
1. When they love you THEY LOVE YOU!!! The most wonderful friends, most loyal partners, fantastic neighbors and overall outstanding human beings.
2. When they hate you THEY HATE YOU!!! No matter how many apologies or explanations, once their mind is made up that's IT. You are on their Eternal Shit List.
3. My best all-time girlfriends were Jewish. Maybe it's the no (sexual) guilt, or lust for life, or, as Mel Brooks once pointed out, their high birthing hips. Whatever, they were killer in bed.
Israeli Jews:
1. A little paranoid for my taste. They act like everyone hates them and wants to wipe them off the face of the Earth or something.
2. They find no irony in the formerly oppressed oppressing the shit of someone else (see #1 as a possible reason?).
3. They smoke a FUCKLOAD of weed, like to sell furniture for a living and, for some crazy reason, always cry during Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". Go ahead, ask a random Israeli what they think of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" and they will invariably get misty-eyed. And if there's a group of them they will hug each other and start to cry.
Bottom line: I love the Jews. Problem is, I also love other people, too, some of them A-rabs.
What to do?
"When I was a child,
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone,
I cannot put my finger on it now...
The child has grown, the dream is gone."
Sniff.
(I have never been to Israel.)