Here you go
http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/vamentalhealthgroup.asp
I think you'll find there's lots of resources available to you. You should find someone to talk to, somebody who's actually going to listen. You're just a running joke around here and you're never going to get the respect you somehow think you deserve. Plus, if you start over again with professionals that can help with your condition you won't have to pretend to have died and can go back to pretending you're a pathfinder.