QUOTE=Amputate Your Head;20169370][/QUOTE]
Your default like always you are so predictable its sad.
two-men-arrested-for-trying-to-have-sex-with-literall-cows
A farmer in Herkimer County, N.Y. couldn?t figure out why his cows seemed more anxious than usual. When they weren?t producing as much milk as usual, he set up a surveillance camera. What he saw shocked him: two men were rolling in the hay with his livestock, CNYCentral.com reported. The farmer, whose name has not been identified, contacted authorities who conducted their own investigation. As a result, Michael Jones, 35, and Reid Fontaine, 31, were arrested for misdemeanor sexual misconduct, UticaOD.com reported. Authorities said Fontaine attempted to have sex with several cows while Fontaine filmed the encounters, according to Syracuse.com. The two were released on an appearance ticket. The suspects aren?t the first men accused of having a cow in the Biblical sense. In 2008, Brazilian cleaner Getulino Ferreira Paraizo was accused of having sex with 400 cows. He said he preferred the more tranquil animals. It might be better to think twice before attempting sex with cows or any other animals. A 2011 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind.
What a bonding activity for these two guys. Some bros like to meet up at the bar for a few beers, some take in a basketball game, I?ve even heard some guys will go to brunch, just the two guys, together. And that?s fine. But cow fucking? Literally cow fucking, is a whole new type of activity. Most of us have fucked cows before, but have any of us actually fucked cows before? I want to believe these guys just totally misinterpreted what it means to fuck a cow. Classic mix up. Like they heard a joke on TV about slump busting by fucking a cow, and they didn?t realize that it meant a cow, not an actual cow. I can totally see how they can make that error. But I want to believe they were just sitting around chillin one day, and both realized their mutual interest in wildlife fucking. No way man, you too?! Grab the camcorder! It?s like when you find out someone went to the same school as you, and you have this whole new point of conversation. Except theirs was their love for putting their cock inside of a big animal that moos.
PS: Say they were fucking the cows on purpose. Why a cow? Also, penile cancer from fucking animals? Woah. I didn?t even know we could get dick cancer. Sounds brutal. So we should all just probably stick to cows, and leave the actual cows alone.
Arizona Man Arrested For Craigslist Ad Asking To "Play With A Horse" (He Wanted To Fuck A Horse)
PHOENIX ? A Phoenix man was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of conspiring to commit bestiality after seeking a horse on Craigslist. Maricopa County Sheriff?s animal crimes detectives began investigating 22-year-old Donald Waelde after a Craigslist user reported an ad posted in the website?s Missed Connections section earlier this month.Waelde allegedly stated in the ad that he wanted to ?play with a horse? and offered to ?do something in return? if he could have access to one.
?I want to play with a horse. Simple as that. If you have a horse and I can have access to it? I will do something in return.?
During the investigation, Waelde allegedly told sheriff?s deputies the sex act he wished to perform on the horse and agreed to meet an undercover detective Tuesday in Anthem. The detective brought a mounted posse horse as a prop. Waelde was taken into custody after reportedly admitting to placing the ad and stating his intentions to carry out the sex act. Deputies also executed a search warrant at his West Union Hills Drive home in Phoenix. Since 2011, suspects in four bestiality cases in Maricopa County have used Craigslist to find animals, Sheriff Joe Arpaio said in a statement. The sheriff?s office said Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster has not responded to letters from Arpaio asking the company to crack down on postings about illegal activities. Arizona passed a law in 2006 making bestiality a crime
WHOOPS! Now obviously I?m happy this alleged horse fucker got nabbed before he could ?play? with a horse but if I may Donald (total horse fucker name by the way), a word of advice. Simple as that, that right there is where you tripped up. You can?t say that type of shit. I read the first line and said oh that?s cool, guy just wants to play with a horse, how nice, and then you dropped the ?simple as that? and I immediately thought, hey wait a minute, is it as simple as that? It?s like when someone says ?nothing more, nothing less?, a tell tale sign of there absolutely being more to what they?re talking about. It?s never as simple as just playing with a horse, not when you tell us it?s just that simple. Like I said, I?m happy you got caught but at the same time I?m offended by how bad you are at picking up horses on craigslist. Use your head one time Donald, might as well say you want to jizz in a horse after telling us how simple your intentions are. Come on.