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Harmon · 05-08-2014, 10:01 AM

I grew up with what I consider to be one of the best grand fathers on the face of the planet (I'm bias, of course). I would spend a few weeks every summer with him as a kid and he would take me out for ice cream, he taught me how to golf... he was more of a father figure than my very own father in many respects.

By the time he was ready to pass on, a few weeks before he went in to hospice I went to visit him. He looked very frail, old and had this blank stare. It was very hard to descruibe but it was like the lights had suddenly just turned off and there was no more fire behind him.

He started swearing uncontrollably at my grandmother using words such as fuck, cunt, etc. These are words that I can honestly say that I NEVER heard my grandfather say let alone to my grandmother. He always took the utmost care of her and held her up on a pedestal.

A few days later he got a hold of the keys to their car and a cop ended up finding him at 2am in some parking lot with broken shocks and he had no idea where he was or what to do. My mother had to go pick him up.

A couple of weeks later I went to visit him in hospice and it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. There, lying in a hospital bed internally bleeding from some other ailment that comes along with old age was my grandfather... this person that was pillar to me in life, whimpering with his eyes closed.

I held his hand and tried to hold back the tears and told him I loved him and he mumbled something back... I like to think it was I love you too.

That night at 3am my home phone rang. It was my sister. He had passed away. It was heart breaking.

I wish you the best of luck with your mother. Just try to be there and be patient. That's about all I can offer for advice. Oh yes, and let them talk about the distant past. Let them talk your ear off. My grandfather, for some reason, could remember what he had for Christmas dinner in 1944 in France in WWII, but couldn't remember my name. When he talked about his past it seemed to make him happy so I went with it.

Good luck to you and your family.

05-08-2014, 10:01 AM
Harmon ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 20,010	I grew up with what I consider to be one of the best grand fathers on the face of the planet (I'm bias, of course). I would spend a few weeks every summer with him as a kid and he would take me out for ice cream, he taught me how to golf... he was more of a father figure than my very own father in many respects. By the time he was ready to pass on, a few weeks before he went in to hospice I went to visit him. He looked very frail, old and had this blank stare. It was very hard to descruibe but it was like the lights had suddenly just turned off and there was no more fire behind him. He started swearing uncontrollably at my grandmother using words such as fuck, cunt, etc. These are words that I can honestly say that I NEVER heard my grandfather say let alone to my grandmother. He always took the utmost care of her and held her up on a pedestal. A few days later he got a hold of the keys to their car and a cop ended up finding him at 2am in some parking lot with broken shocks and he had no idea where he was or what to do. My mother had to go pick him up. A couple of weeks later I went to visit him in hospice and it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. There, lying in a hospital bed internally bleeding from some other ailment that comes along with old age was my grandfather... this person that was pillar to me in life, whimpering with his eyes closed. I held his hand and tried to hold back the tears and told him I loved him and he mumbled something back... I like to think it was I love you too. That night at 3am my home phone rang. It was my sister. He had passed away. It was heart breaking. I wish you the best of luck with your mother. Just try to be there and be patient. That's about all I can offer for advice. Oh yes, and let them talk about the distant past. Let them talk your ear off. My grandfather, for some reason, could remember what he had for Christmas dinner in 1944 in France in WWII, but couldn't remember my name. When he talked about his past it seemed to make him happy so I went with it. Good luck to you and your family. __________________ [email protected]