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The anti-vaccination movement has grown increasingly vocal in recent years, with a variety of organizations and public figures attempting to convince parents that immunizing their children presents more risks than benefits. Here are the cases for and against vaccinating children:
PROS
- Helps out pharmaceutical industry
- Get to puncture child with needle
- Old family syringe shop depends on it
- Habituates children to the pain of existence
- Flies in face of science by discrediting single unanimously refuted paper from 10 years ago
- Healthier children equals friendlier waiters at Chili’s down the line
- Could save a few million children’s lives
CONS
- You have to go to a place
- Chance of developing autism 100 percent
- Puts the onus of character-building entirely on sports
- Without suffering through diphtheria, the flu, and measles, American children will become effete, pampered do-nothings
- Free lollipops promote unhealthy eating habits
- Child won’t get to be kindergarten’s Typhoid Mary
- Bullies parents into slavishly following actions recommended by decades of physicians’ peer-reviewed research that establishes an irrefutable scientific consensus
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