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Two years ago I bought my niece and nephews the holiday scratch-offs that no one ever wins because I loved them when I was a kid. My nephew, 7 at the time, won $1,000. Merry Christmas, kiddo. That was a phone call that I enjoyed getting, he was so fucking excited. And the incident has cemented my legacy as the best uncle ever. I'll take that.
As for me, my luck when it comes to gambling is shit. I put $100 on the Steelers to beat the Browns in '09 or '10. In ten years the browns have beat the steelers 2 times, and that was one of them. My luck blows.
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I'm funner than AIDS, and easier to explain to your parents.
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