Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMaxwell
My lady friend, Ms. F Cups, she calls me up so I get on the hook with her and she's telling me this and that and apparently her dog went through the trash. So I says to her, was it your fault? She's all, I don't think so.. So I says, were you bleeding? She's over there and she says, no.. So I says to her, oh, well it wasn't your fault, then
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Oh, Jesus! Reminds me of this bitch I lived with for a few years. She had a stratospheric IQ, was a complete knockout and the best fuck that you could imagine but for about a week out of the month you couldn't stand to be in the same room with her! I mean, she bled like three stuck pigs for a week and went through BOXES of tampons and napkins. This bitch was the one that Hell's Angels wanted for earning their wings!
This shit was so bad that she wouldn't go out of the house during her period because if she did everyone could smell her coming! Wasn't anything wrong with her. That was just they way she was. She would go raving Goddamned mad with" Fuck me!, Fuck me!, Fuck me!" starting about four days before her period and when the period hit, it was like "Don't touch me!", which was OK with me!
Be all that as it may, one day in the middle of her monthly psycho-physical crisis, I had to take her to the Dr., leaving the trash can in the kitchen full of the ravaged, blood-soaked, smelly-assed napkins and tampons. Forgot to close the door to kitchen and the dog got into it.
FUCK ME!
Dog knocked over the trash can, rolled in that shit, spread it all over the house, put it into our bed and when we got home, the dog wagged its tail in complete and total happiness!
Took about two days to clean it up and gallons of disinfectant. Thought about taking the dog to the car wash but settled for a good shampoo in one of those old style metal laundry tubs.
Will never forget that one!
