Mutt

the dumbest thing i ever saw in person was in the 9th grade, there was a small outdoor shopping plaza with a convenience store in it where kids would hang out after school, buying candy, pop, cigarettes. this kid Jeffery, i forget his last name, the classic nerd social reject, wore black dress shoes and white socks to gym class, the black horn rimmed glasses, the zits, he had it all going on. unfortunately for him he wasn't the Bill Gates brainiac type nerd, he was a moron. so he walks into the convenience store wearing a trench coat, the store is jammed with kids, he goes to the magazine rack and stuffs a bunch of porn mags inside the trench coat. so instead of blending in with the crowd and sneaking his way out the door this genius decides he is going to buy something - possibly he thought this would be his cover so the ladies working the counter cash registers wouldn't suspect him. he goes up to the counter looking like the mutant that he was and puts whatever he was buying on the counter, the lady rings it up and tells him how much he owes - he's nervous, gets flustered getting the money out of his pocket, and in a brilliant move opens the trench coat to get at the money and of course a small avalanche of porn mags crash to the floor - the crowd roared with laughter and kids came streaming into the store to of course to pile on.

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