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SpaceAce · 06-23-2003, 12:56 AM

Here's a long one:

As a man was reading the newspaper, he came across an ad which claimed he could lose five, twenty or even fifty pounds for only $10 per pound. The man was skeptical but he was desperate to slim down and decided to give it a shot, so he calls the number listed in the advertisement and tells them he wants to lose five pounds.

The next morning at 9 AM the man's doorbell rings and he answers it to find a smallish man in a business suit and a beautiful redhead in a tight shorts and a halter top. Immediately, he becomes aroused because this woman is hot with large, firm breasts and a tight tummy. The man in the suit says, "Sir, this is Renee and she is your weight loss counselor. The program is simple: if you catch her, you can fuck her." The man in the suit turns and walks away. As soon as he is out of sight, Renee rips off her clothes and takes off into the house. The overweight man slams the door and begins to chase Renee. Well, it takes him a good hour to catch her and when he does he throws her down on the couch and they have insane animalistic sex all morning. As they are laying there panting, the man suddenly remembers that he was supposed to have lost five pounds, so he leaps up and runs into the bathroom to use his scale. Sure enough, he has lost exactly five pounds. The man is ecstatic and as soon as Renee has left, he calls the company again and tells them he wants to lose twenty more pounds.

The next morning at precisely 9 AM, his doorbell rings and he opens it to find the same short man in the business suit, this time accompanied by the sexiest and most desirable woman he has ever seen. Her face was perfect, with enormous blue eyes, high cheekbones and a lovely button nose. Her hair was long and blonde, shimmering in the morning sunlight and her body put her face and hair to shame. Every inch of her was tight and hard, from her flat stomach to her amazing dancer's legs. She had a huge chest and the best ass the man had ever seen. After five seconds of looking at this woman, the man already had a raging hardon. The gentleman in the suit said, "Sir, this is Lisa and if you catch her you can fuck her." The man in the suit then turns and leaves.

Lisa rips off the skimpy lingerie she is wearing and the chase is on. The man chases her upstairs, downstairs and all around his house. The chase goes on for hours and it is early afternoon before the man finally catches Lisa. When he does get his hands on her, he takes her right there on the floor of his kitchen. They do it on all the furniture in every imaginable position and it is late afternoon before they finish. Immediately, the man staggers into his bathroom and gets on his scale. Exactly twenty pounds lost!

The man decides to go for the gold and lose the last 50 pounds he's been wanting to get rid of. He makes the phone call and is given his usual 9 AM appointment.

The next morning, the man in the suit arrives on the doorstep. This time, however, he is accompanied by an enormous, smelly gorilla. The animal is huge and disgusting with matted fur and a foul odor. The fat man opens the door and demands, "What the hell is this?" The man in the suit replies, "Sir, this is Bobo and if he catches you he's going to fuck you."

SpaceAce

06-23-2003, 12:56 AM
SpaceAce Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Magrathea Posts: 6,493	Here's a long one: As a man was reading the newspaper, he came across an ad which claimed he could lose five, twenty or even fifty pounds for only $10 per pound. The man was skeptical but he was desperate to slim down and decided to give it a shot, so he calls the number listed in the advertisement and tells them he wants to lose five pounds. The next morning at 9 AM the man's doorbell rings and he answers it to find a smallish man in a business suit and a beautiful redhead in a tight shorts and a halter top. Immediately, he becomes aroused because this woman is hot with large, firm breasts and a tight tummy. The man in the suit says, "Sir, this is Renee and she is your weight loss counselor. The program is simple: if you catch her, you can fuck her." The man in the suit turns and walks away. As soon as he is out of sight, Renee rips off her clothes and takes off into the house. The overweight man slams the door and begins to chase Renee. Well, it takes him a good hour to catch her and when he does he throws her down on the couch and they have insane animalistic sex all morning. As they are laying there panting, the man suddenly remembers that he was supposed to have lost five pounds, so he leaps up and runs into the bathroom to use his scale. Sure enough, he has lost exactly five pounds. The man is ecstatic and as soon as Renee has left, he calls the company again and tells them he wants to lose twenty more pounds. The next morning at precisely 9 AM, his doorbell rings and he opens it to find the same short man in the business suit, this time accompanied by the sexiest and most desirable woman he has ever seen. Her face was perfect, with enormous blue eyes, high cheekbones and a lovely button nose. Her hair was long and blonde, shimmering in the morning sunlight and her body put her face and hair to shame. Every inch of her was tight and hard, from her flat stomach to her amazing dancer's legs. She had a huge chest and the best ass the man had ever seen. After five seconds of looking at this woman, the man already had a raging hardon. The gentleman in the suit said, "Sir, this is Lisa and if you catch her you can fuck her." The man in the suit then turns and leaves. Lisa rips off the skimpy lingerie she is wearing and the chase is on. The man chases her upstairs, downstairs and all around his house. The chase goes on for hours and it is early afternoon before the man finally catches Lisa. When he does get his hands on her, he takes her right there on the floor of his kitchen. They do it on all the furniture in every imaginable position and it is late afternoon before they finish. Immediately, the man staggers into his bathroom and gets on his scale. Exactly twenty pounds lost! The man decides to go for the gold and lose the last 50 pounds he's been wanting to get rid of. He makes the phone call and is given his usual 9 AM appointment. The next morning, the man in the suit arrives on the doorstep. This time, however, he is accompanied by an enormous, smelly gorilla. The animal is huge and disgusting with matted fur and a foul odor. The fat man opens the door and demands, "What the hell is this?" The man in the suit replies, "Sir, this is Bobo and if he catches you he's going to fuck you." SpaceAce Last edited by SpaceAce; 06-23-2003 at 01:02 AM..