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Tala · 06-19-2003, 04:15 PM

Subject: Understanding The Male Species
Because I'm a Man:

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your
suggestions that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know
what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us
will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything,
I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once
the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it
though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost,
and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother,
or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.
Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something
for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was
fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it--looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

This has been a public service message for Women to help them better understand the Male species...

06-19-2003, 04:15 PM
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Ladies, pay attention. Subject: Understanding The Male Species Because I'm a Man: Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going? Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it--looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. This has been a public service message for Women to help them better understand the Male species... __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.