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Join Date: Jul 2005
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ADDerall .. ADHD .. The good, the bad, the ugly
So long story short I always thought that ADHD was made up and bullshit. I was "diagnosed" as a child with it. Was very intelligent, finished high school when I was twelve (not actual high school but all of the grades) and was an energetic troublesome little maniac.
They tried to put me on ritalin but it made my heart bump my chest out of my body.. I hated it, wouldn't take it, etc.
As it turns out, it's a real thing. I found out that Adderall calms me down and helps me focus. Apparently it has the opposite effect on most people. Well- for several years now I am one who climbs the walls thinking about things I need to do. But never can actually do much of anything. But always thinking about it all and wanting to. (I understand if you laugh at that- because I use to think it was bullshit, too- but it's a spot where you literally CAN NOT FOCUS--- it's NOT laziness-- I am NOT lazy)
Now me when my nerves are shot I won't eat or sleep very often. So about the time I discovered Adderall, of course my woman went insane and I found out that my father is dying, and I got a call saying my grandmother was throwing fits and losing her mind and almost attacked her doctor ..ran into some other problems.. long story ... basically shtf
Well. I love Adderall. And when I began taking it I was worried that I'd be tempted to abuse it. I have never done any drugs. I tried weed three or four times and hated it. Never tried any real drugs. But I've got a history of running with something in terms of normal every day stimulants caffeine and nicotine.
I haven't found Adderall to be necessarily addictive. Amps are supposed to be extremely addictive. I haven't found that, at all. I'm extremely addicted to nicotine, so I was a little worried about that. After taking Adderall every day for two weeks, I can wake up and not take any for a week or two and I'm fine.
If you have racing thoughts, think about several things all at the same time, and can't seem to stay focused in on one task long enough to complete it... you may be ADHD.. that said, many doctors will diagnose anyone and their friends AND the sink with it.
The only downside is that when it wears off, you can get pretty mad. And it does allow for you to be awake for a long time. Also it is definitely an appetite suppressant. It also makes you more likely to crave nicotine and caffeine. A LOT of both.
For a couple of months when shit all jumped off and my nerves were shot, Adderall really helped a great deal with me staying settled and focused. I didn't know at the time, though, that once its positive effects wear off- if you don't get any rest and continue to be awake for extended periods of time- your brain can go into some kind of "panic mode".
I ended up doing all kinds of things there were out of character, for me, and I think that it was when the Adderall wore off and I was awake and exhausted. I THOUGHT I was doing well to not abuse it .... when it wore off and I was still awake, I did not take more, ever ..... I took a set amount daily .... Not knowing that letting it wear off while exhausted was actually WORSE.
So if you're going to take it BE VERY CAREFUL when it wears off and you're still awake. I was sleeping every 48-72 hours and not eating more than once every third day.. I was living on coffee and nicotine.
I remember being what I labelled as "action seeking" .. it was almost scary .. I wasn't myself, at all. I constantly had this feeling of "wanting something to happen" .. So I would drive around aimlessly, picked a few fights, and gambled constantly
Now I'm one to play poker any time I get the chance. But I play in games where I at least usually break even. I win some, I lose some, I play with extra cash... This wasn't like that - I was playing well above the limits I can afford and playing slot machines and driving 100mph++ all of the time
None of anything I did when I was "action seeking" is anything inside of my character, at all. I have never played or wanted to play slots in my life. Slots are stupid. I played them a lot, I even hit a sizable jackpot and managed to spend that. I've never been to a strip joint but I went to one. Etc.
Driving 100+mph all of the time is something I haven't done since I was a young child.
The reason I want to warn everyone about Adderall wearing off and still allowing you to stay awake is because I managed to get myself into some trouble ..
It was my birthday and I'd been awake for almost two days at this point- I hadn't taken any Adderall that day and my nerves were so shot it was ridiculous ... I've never been that unsettled in my life .. I really was at a point where I didn't care what in the hell happened .... I hadn't eaten or slept and all of that ..
I ended up at a strip joint (which I've never been to one, ever) and that was nice and I enjoyed talking with the girls out back and everything... I had a pretty good time and it took my mind off of everything. I had a couple of drinks and was there pretty much all evening.
After I left there I stopped for some gasoline and more cigarettes .... and was out drivig on the highway. I was more pissed off and frustrated and mad than I ever have been in my life. I was just GRRRRRRR. I mean to say if I had a gun on me I would have shot you, you AND you.
So I'm going 120 down the highway for about a half of an hour. . . the curves are coming out of nowhere .. I almost didn't make one of them under the overpass .. .. . my foot is trying to go through the floor to go faster ---- I was ready to explode
Anyway, BLAM, red and blue lights ... I'm talking with the officer and I know he thinks that I'm fucked up because I'm so tired, I mean I can hardly hold my eyes open at this point
Then I take their breathalyzer and the rest is the end of it. Since then I've found out that the machine they use her is more of a slot machine than it is accurate. Many states have had to throw cases out because of it. This state made them take out a feature that makes it more accurate before they'd buy it, etc.
I'm really not sure if I was over .08 from two $10 drinks over the course of a whole evening. I'm thinking, probably not. The lesson here is that you REALLY need to watch yourself if Adderall wears off because you can become a real hell of a madman.
So I'm writing this for anyone who might be thinking about trying Adderall.. I remember several people on here said they thought that they might try it, I think.
The most important things to remember are:
1. If you have positive effects from it, enjoy them and use that to your advantage, but let yourself shut down and get some rest. Don't let it wear off and stay awake.
2. Make yourself eat something at regular intervals. Even if you don't feel hungry, you have to remember that your appetite isn't on autopilot. It's like breating as an example - it's usually an involuntary thing you don't think about but you DO have control over it, right? Same thing with eating when you're taking adderall
3. Just because the doctor says you havd ADHD and need Adderall doesn't mean you should be taking it. If you don't have a very positive effect or if you feel a high, stop taking it, unless you want to just be a drug addict. Also, just because the doctor says you DON'T have adhd doesn't mean you don't.
4. If you notice yourself doing ANYTHING that's out of character for you, stop taking it right away and get some rest. Even if it's something small and insignificant. You really need to watch that.
5. Don't take Adderall every day.. It's easy to build tolerance for and these doctors are insane. They'll put you on a big dose, then up it, then you can't up it anymore and you're fucked. Even if you're trying to avoid tolerance with magnesium and all of that.. I think that's pretty bad for you, doing that, anyway.. Take a day or two "off" ... or more .. on a regular basis
6. If you think about 990 things at once and have only been able to shut it all off with alcohol, but you're like me and can't handle alcohol and become a maniac, Adderall may be a great help to you
7. Don't drink when you take Adderall - you'll be able to drink far more - you'll have less of a hangover from it - etc. The problem is, you can end up drinking yourself to death and it's all extremely tough on your body. I never really want to drink when I take Adderall but everyone should know that of it.
8. I don't think Adderall is good to use on a long term basis.
Anyway I'm just sitting around today having some beers and thought I'd let everyone know what my experience has been with it. I think it's a miracle drug IF you're careful with it.
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