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F-U-Jimmy · 06-24-2012, 06:51 PM

As a billionaire with absolutely nothing better to do with my money, i purchased a few of these watches for use on my explorations through the Taman Negara rainforest. On these explorations I tend to get attacked by many wild animals, usually man-eating elephants or herds of stampeding jaguar. This time however i was attacked by a massive anaconda. Anaconda are a massive brutish species that live in small tribes spread throughout the Taman Negara. They have massive claws used for tearing through bone and flesh, they run up to 56 kilometers an hour using their massively strong hind legs in combination with there wings used for propulsion rather than flying. I had had encounters with them in the past, but nothing quite this severe. I usually managed to fight them off using watch based kung foo that i studied in the mountains of Japan for 47 years. It was a dark night, monsoon season was at it's height, over 400 feet of rain every hour. I was trekking about when a group of Anacondas, riding 3 toed sloths ambushed me. We faced off and i made the first move, as is accustomed in my watch-foo fighting style. I went for a forward, reverse backhanded slash with my Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch(tm). What would you know? It shattered with the first hit and the battle went downhill from there. The first Anaconda bit off my right arm with it's massive beak. This put me into shock as the rest of my limbs were removed. I was taken back to their village where i was tied to a stake and left out for 36 years. After the 13,140th day at 2AM, an anaconda ventured to close to me, i pretend to be unconscious as it closed in on me. As it came with grasp i lunged out and bit off its hoofed right foot. I hastily ate it and used its spear to free myself. I escaped in the night through the jungle, i wandered for 4 years until i came across a friendly group of bull dozers you hastily got me home to my mansion in the swiss alps. Where i was able to buy a far better watch. Overall would i recommend this watch? Well, it's responsible for the loss of all of my limbs, its got me imprisoned for 36 in a village of anacondas. I wandered through the jungle for 4 years, not sure how i managed that, but i did. This watch is responsible for destroying many years of my life. Overall I couldn't be more satisfied and i would recommend to a friend.

06-24-2012, 06:51 PM
F-U-Jimmy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Visiting a city near you soon ! Posts: 6,853	Some funny shit in those reviews As a billionaire with absolutely nothing better to do with my money, i purchased a few of these watches for use on my explorations through the Taman Negara rainforest. On these explorations I tend to get attacked by many wild animals, usually man-eating elephants or herds of stampeding jaguar. This time however i was attacked by a massive anaconda. Anaconda are a massive brutish species that live in small tribes spread throughout the Taman Negara. They have massive claws used for tearing through bone and flesh, they run up to 56 kilometers an hour using their massively strong hind legs in combination with there wings used for propulsion rather than flying. I had had encounters with them in the past, but nothing quite this severe. I usually managed to fight them off using watch based kung foo that i studied in the mountains of Japan for 47 years. It was a dark night, monsoon season was at it's height, over 400 feet of rain every hour. I was trekking about when a group of Anacondas, riding 3 toed sloths ambushed me. We faced off and i made the first move, as is accustomed in my watch-foo fighting style. I went for a forward, reverse backhanded slash with my Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch(tm). What would you know? It shattered with the first hit and the battle went downhill from there. The first Anaconda bit off my right arm with it's massive beak. This put me into shock as the rest of my limbs were removed. I was taken back to their village where i was tied to a stake and left out for 36 years. After the 13,140th day at 2AM, an anaconda ventured to close to me, i pretend to be unconscious as it closed in on me. As it came with grasp i lunged out and bit off its hoofed right foot. I hastily ate it and used its spear to free myself. I escaped in the night through the jungle, i wandered for 4 years until i came across a friendly group of bull dozers you hastily got me home to my mansion in the swiss alps. Where i was able to buy a far better watch. Overall would i recommend this watch? Well, it's responsible for the loss of all of my limbs, its got me imprisoned for 36 in a village of anacondas. I wandered through the jungle for 4 years, not sure how i managed that, but i did. This watch is responsible for destroying many years of my life. Overall I couldn't be more satisfied and i would recommend to a friend. __________________ icq. 176240424 44.years as a pornographer !!!!!!!!!!!