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I have never heard a transgendered person call themselves a she-male. Best I have ever been able to figure it is a porn term.
Basic run down of terms - as I understand them
Transgender
Anyone who does not fit into the traditional male-female gender patterns of society.
Cross-dresser
Someone who wears the clothes as the opposite sex. It is done for a number of different reasons, and you should never assume that a cross-dresser is gay, bisexual or lesbian - many are heterosexual. Cross-dressers often have no desire to change their physical sex.
Transvestism
A form of cross-dressing, with the desire to adopt the clothes, appearance and behaviour associated with the opposite sex
Transsexualism
This is a strong feeling of gender dysphoria, where the person may say they are 'trapped in the body of the wrong sex'. A small proportion of transsexuals have sex reassignment surgery (a 'sex change' operation).
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