I'm very much at a loss of words when I look back on my last few years. Not sure who that was. Why in all hell don't I own some rentals and a couple of dealerships and a jewelry store, by now
I so know how
I thought, well, I got caught up too much in women. But then I noticed that I only have been close with three. There were a lot of years in between where I could have done more.
I just kind of coasted by on two bit deals and wasted time traveling with strange women. Some were pretty exciting, some were pretty weird. Well and then I did spend a couple of years in total solitude. That wasn't bad- I am not the type to be lonely. I sure was heartsick when my ex ran away, still kind of am, but that is just because I done lost so many close niggaz and never been the type to have many people close anyway so
Well.. sigh.... life ain't all about blowjobs and eating food like a rabid wolf. And it ain't about helping people all of the time, either, if you don't help yourself.
Some things have been an experience. I've seen some women most of you couldn't dream of. Ain't had any porn stars so you have me, there, lol. Some of the shit I've done I can't even tell about- I even had alphabet boys looking at me, before. . and then thanked god they had a sense of humor . . I did enjoy feeling like I was doing things no one else could, because I am me - good times
Jesus on the moon eating moon crackers with fizzy wine, though,
I'm a cunthair from being thirty and I don't have income producing assets or own a home. And then after all that time clean I get into trouble, do not pass go, enjoy jail, yay
Crazy as it sounds I still love my life .. wouldn't trade places with anyone .. Not sure what motivates normal people. Politics, sports, status, 800 women, power, religion etc?
Christ on the third ring of saturn playing low gravity basketball man I don't need much to be happy. I don't even need new women all of the time.
Sure - now and then it's nice to have some strange new woman slurp and suck, but, day to day I just like to have one that I am comfortable with who knows how I like things. Some good food. Being able to breathe financially.
There ain't much I really need. I like to have a couple of Cadillacs and some Guns. Sure - SOME power is nice - but it's not a control issue or anything.. the only power I enjoy is being able to cause justice. Like feeding hard working people, taking video games to sick kids, harming child molestors, etc.
I don't let myself breathe. When stupid left at the end of February, I was in good shape. Two paid for automobiles. A couple extra grand. Rent and bills all paid up. I don't know, you know, I was action seeking after she left. Couldn't stand to be at home. Gambling fast and fast. Somehow didn't drink except a couple times. Pots of coffee and packs of cigarettes. Saw a couple of women, didn't really do anything wasn't exciting enough.
bla bla bla
sorry
I think I was journaling or some gay thing just now