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Old 06-16-2003, 12:34 PM  
thatdykeliz
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: talkin dirty on the phone
Posts: 1,026
We talking personal-injury stuff? I've been lucky...the worst thing I can think of aside from whiplash in car accidents is stepping on a toothpick in the carpet when I was 6 years old. It broke off and about half of it stayed stuck in my foot.

My granny wanted to put bacon fat on my foot to draw out the wood -- I think it's a Southern home-remedy kind of thing -- and I started screaming and wailing, thinking she meant HOT bacon fat. No way was anybody putting hot bacon on my poor foot and make it burn as well as hurt with the toothpick stuck in it, no fucking way! So here I go, a pudgy little six year old, hopping on one foot all around the damn house screaming "Please don't put no bacon fat on me Grammy! Don't put no bacon fat on meeeeee!"

They caught me eventually, put (cold) bacon fat on my foot, and someway pried out the toothpick. Probably with my Papaw's dirty pocket knife. I don't remember any of that, thank God.
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