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No, we DID NOT evolve from monkeys. Monkeys are too smart to devolve into humans.
Monkeys specifically denied having anything to do with us - "we" being their less-intelligent primate relatives. We (humans) are to your average monkey what your idiot child-molesting uncle is to you. We're all primates, but WTF?
There is not one monkey on the face of the Earth who will accept responsibility for a Mitt (MItt? What kind of name is that? Hi, I'm Sock... Sock Cockstrap... Here's my brother, Mitt Sock...) Romney. Mitt Sock Shoe Hipwader Romney. If he's a REAL Morman (Merman? Mermaid? More Woman?) he has multiple wives - just like the Muslims he hates.
Stupid fucking assholes.
BTW, I asked. We're an embarrassement to primates. The primate I interviewed wished he was a dolphin so he could get some good press and avoid humans 364 days of the year.
He also said, "So long and thanks for all the fish." Dunno what he meant by that, but his sly, slightly crooked smile made me feel a little uncomfotable. I had the last laugh, though - I knew he wasn't a dolphin and that Douglas Adams died a long time ago.
No, we're not monkeys. We're too stupid to be monkeys. We're snails with appendages. How can you tell what creatures GOD created? They have faces.
Eyes. Noses. Mouths. Every living multi-celled creature on the planet that has existed for less than 100 million years has eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
You are not a monkey - you're a snail.
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