Originally Posted by TheSquealer

You need to capture 3 squirrels for sacrifice to the Sacred Altar of Gates. Make sure the squirrels are virgins and of noble birth. Once you have the squirrels, place them neatly on a wood cutting board, then tie their tiny little feet to the corners so they are spread out. Try to calm them with soothing words as you do this. No need to make it unpleasant for the squirrels. Then, one by one, chant these words "Oh hear me Gods of MSDOS, lift your curse on my notebook and I offer you the blood of these squirrels as payments for your benevolence" - Then make sure the knife (paring knife if you have one.. best to use something small) in a swift downward motion into the squirrels chest to expose its tiny little beating heart. Remove the heart quickly, raising it above your head and displaying it to the cheering crowd below showing them all that you alone command the heavens to do your bidding as the blood runs down your arms and body. Repeat 2 more times. Dispose of dead squirrels.