I think you are missing that the tag "gay" is the beginning of the story. There are a fair amount of variations after that. Tops and bottoms being the biggest one. That is where you get your girlie gays (not always) and your macho gays (not always).
I was sitting around a table with 3 gay guys. My girl leans way over to sip her drink, and her boobs are almost falling out. I look around quickly to see who noticed. No one did. They are gay! That was the moment I really got it. They like guys just as much as I like girls.
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