raymor

LOL my wife is a Twihard too.

I'd take almost any girlfriend, or no girlfriend, over my first marriage, in which I married whoever came along and neither of us knew much about how to be a married couple. After that, I dated a LOT of women. Mostly short dates, like lunch dates, up to three per day.

Through that process of going out with so many women to find the right match and doing a few other things, I found something that most people say is a fairy tale. I never thought I could have a marriage as wonderful as what I have today. I'm excited to see what's coming next and I know there is a lot more I haven't experienced, but where I'm at now is pretty awesome to me. I am deeply grateful to the people who showed me how to get here.

I think there are two or three major parts, and marrying the right person is one of those. I married whoever came along the first time. The second time, when I knew that I could not find a better lady if I went on a thousand dates, I proceeded to look for my one in a million. The coolest chick I'd ever dated wasn't enough, I wanted the most amazing woman in the state.

Being the right person is the other. For me, if I'm not very skilled at this marriage thing, I can't expect to have a great marriage. I had to put some work into first learning how to be the kind of man who has a great marriage, then into actually DOING it. Absolute honesty can be very difficult. Even more I had to put in some real work and seek advice from others on how to become a man who would attract a one-in-million woman like my wife.


I'm really surprised because I expected the conflict and compromise that some have mentioned. Someone mentioned the committee of two. I was introduced to the concept of "one flesh" and when we keep that in mind there is no conflict. The ancient wisdom is really onto something with “And the two shall be one flesh; after that they are not two, but one flesh.” My experience in this marriage is that my wife and I argue about as much as my arm argues with my leg. You know how sometimes you have trouble making a decision, when you think to yourself "on the one hand, this, but on the other hand, that"? I think they call it "being of two minds" about something. Keeping in mind "they are not two, but one flesh", that's how my wife and I react when we see things differently - the same way we each react when one of us sees two sides of something. At rare times we may get on each other's nerves just a bit, but in the same way that a sore wrist gets on your nerves. It may bug you a bit, but you don't get angry and start a fight with your wrist. Being one flesh, yelling at my wife makes as much sense as yelling at my wrist.

So what are the pros and cons? Dating a bunch of people and having some fun while you're young is a fun and valuable experience. Today, though, that feels as far away as my first kiss on the playground. Fucking is great fun. being in the middle of the one flesh adventure, fucking kind of reminds me of cotton candy - sweet and fun, but just so much fluff compared to a real meal. I feel like I'm getting the meat and potatoes today. As happy and deeply satisfied as I am, we still haven't had kids and seen how putting effort into having a great relationship with them can be, so I'm sure there's a lot more I haven't experienced yet.

This post is already too long, but if by chance anyone is curious about it, I was taught a specific procedure to find and attract the right woman. I won't add another three paragraphs to this post writing about it, but if anyone would like to hear what I was taught and worked for me let me know.

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