It is not worth it, and you can lose everything.
I've known for a long time that I can't change how people behave and that it's my choice to react in a way that is upsetting to me.
That wisdom if put into practice could have saved me so much trouble and pain over the years. I've finally taken it to heart and it WORKS!!
A few weeks ago, say 2 or 3, I got to the point where I just wanted to murder everything moving. I was hell bent, unsettled, unstable and
So I ended up after a long period of sobriety, using that as an excuse to go out and get drunk.
And I caused several occurences that could be pieced together into a hollywood movie. And not a good one. A pathetic but exciting low $$$ grossing film. The police were called on me four different times, I was run off of a roadway by angry mexicans in a huge truck, I got into a pseudo fight with some crazy midget like guy under a streetlight, and that is only some of the parts I remember.
Letting people drive you to anything, even mere anger, is pathetic. Drinking to deal with it is beyond pathetic. I am lucky to be alive, to not have killed someone, to not have had my face broken or worse, to not be in jail/prison and on and on and on.
Take my advice: DO NOT allow people around you in your life to control the way that you feel. Ever. I've had loved ones and select other assholes I have been close with jump up and fucking down on my last god damned nerve pretty much all of my life.
No more
A lot of people I know of do the same thing - and we never even realize - but it is NOT worth the stroke, the drunken event that lands you a fifteen to life or something you can't live with having done, or the poverty and destitution or ANY OF IT
From now on "
I don't care how much I care", FUCK THEM
Special thanks to all of the morons and scholars of GFY who have just now acted as my sounding board