Soy milk is an alright alternative to milk, especially if you are lactose intolerant, but it is not a replacement. If you can't drink cows milk give goat milk a spin, it is much easier to digest and doesn't have estrogen issues so you can drink as much as you want.
Be leery of any dairy haters, a lot of that bullshit kicking around these days. Milk products are absolutely good for you, you can drink lots with only good things coming from it including muscle gain and helps with weight loss. I have been drinking lots of milk all my life and I have never broken a bone or have gotten a cavity and i'm 34 years old, played football for 6 years, used to box, used to wrestle and still quite active today. I have lots of arthritis in my family history and have yet to have ANY symptoms of it myself and i attribute that to an active lifestyle mixed with a diet including dairy.
cow
http://whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=130
goat
http://whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=131