My simple 5 step remedy that works wonders for sun burns:
Step 1) Grab barbed wire, scratch burned area. This allows products to soak in and alleviate the pain.
Step 2) Grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol, pour entire bottle onto skin.
Step 3) Grab salt, and pat into burned area
Step 4) To rid the burning sensation, pick up dry ice and fill your bathtub with it. Soak in the dry ice for 30-45 minutes
Step 5) Venture into the desert in search of an aloe vera plant:
Machete off one of the leaves, and apply the goo inside to burned area.