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Old 06-06-2011, 09:44 AM  
MrMaxwell
Too lazy to set a custom title
 
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 10,057
Quote:
Originally Posted by ottopottomouse View Post
the rate of missing children is up 500 whats?



so does it prevent your child going missing OR does it try and find them when they go missing? can't claim both.



you haven't bolded enough of the text

Your child is 5000 times more likely to go missing than a child protected by Child Shield U.S.A., so visit our website for more information and give us a call, now!


Well, she keeps telling me, if there's too much text or too much bold, no one will read it... I didn't agree, but she has done a lot of proofreading and is well educated... so I bowed to her

I had more text and more was bolded

The 500 is supposed to say percent (not sure how that got changed)

Also my text included something about "What's more, if bla bla, this is what we'll do" sort of thing to explain the two parts of the program (I wanted to more clearly define that prevention comes first and that in case there was ever a need xx and x would happen)


thanks for your input



Keep it coming everyone Thank YOU
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