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I think I just figured out what she needs to set her straight. She needs an older man in her life, one who has a level modicum of common sense, a straight shooter who wouldn't be at all shy about telling her flat out when she's being a fucking idiot or about to make a life-clowning decision etc, but one who will also shag the bejeezuz out of her 7-10 times per week (with gusts up to 20).
As it happens I fit that bill, and as it happens available. Lohan, call me.
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