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Old 04-15-2011, 12:54 AM  
MrMaxwell
Too lazy to set a custom title
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 10,057
Horror story.. I know WHY normal men BUY PORN

So me and this friend of mine, the twos of us drive over to ict to see this laptop some clown has on CL, right. He talks about the huge screen, it's new in the box, oh wow look at this he says, you know. $250 right now he needs money.

We get there and what is it, it's a five year old toshiba he boots up and we're standing there five minutes waiting for it to come up. It had a fucking CELERY in there, a 12" screen, for fuck sakes. We're talking about $20 worth of computer, here.

Then; it happened!! Cue the sudden dramatic horror film scene!! Something shrieks from behind us, by the stairs... "JOHNNNNNY!!!"... in the most grating, loud, gurgling, sudden, loud, extremely loud and grating noise I've ever heard in a LIFETIME

Out comes this horrible mean pig faced woman (who looks as if she's purposely worked and worked for years at purposely looking as wildabeast as possible just to piss everyone off) and he simply tells her "Be quiet, there are people here." as if this has HAPPENED BEFORE

I never in my life have heard such a disturbing sound from any being. Never. I would literally pay $1000 to never hear it again. If anyone I was seeing ever looked or sounded like her, I would m****r myself. Literally.

This woman was a lorena bobbit for your ears

I'd like to see one of my lady friends try that shit with me ONE TIME. Well, thank god, none of mine would be capable of producing such a loud gutteral horrible terrible sound. And if she did, I'd be male enough to either run screaming or give her a four hour spanking and a ball gag. And I've never even used one of those on a woman, before. I'd have one WELDED onto this lady I'm telling you

What a horror story

Normal mens lives make me appreciate my shitty life I've caused for myself more and more and more every fucking day.. I may be broke, but thank god or moonbeams or whatever the fuck caused me to not be a regular man..
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