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Pay me 500 and I'll kick you in the nuts. It will be less painful and cheaper than pissing away 3k.
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“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.”
-- Ulysses S. Grant
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