I know I am supposed to be objective and impartial and removed from my subject. But sometimes things happen. The heart has reasons of its own that the mind will never understand.
http://www.setgo.com/article.html?id...95b059d8705b15
I stand outside in the sun with Maggie. She sits between my legs. I play with her hair.
Maggie asks me what I think happened to Jesus.
DUC: "I think the Romans killed him."
Maggie, whose Italian: "You think my people killed him? Is that why we're so evil?"
Xander walks out. I assure him that though it may look like I am in a compromising position...
"Everything's kosher here, Xander..."
Xander laughs: "Oh, ok..."
DUC: "I don't want you be worried. It's just a journalistic technique they taught me at Columbia Journalism School."
Maggie: "I don't know what the hell you are doing to my hair but you're a weirdo."
I lean over and snap photos of Maggie's face close-up.
Maggie: "You took a picture of my big nose."
DUC: "You don't have a big nose. It's just prominent."
Maggie: "Why are you still taking pictures?"
DUC: "I'm making you a star."
Maggie: "I'm a star in my heart. Gosh, you are so crazy. You have to erase these pictures. They are horrible."
DUC: "You've got a Jewish nose."
Maggie: "Everyone thinks that. I'm not Jewish."
DUC: "Would you like to convert to Orthodox Judaism and have ten of my kids?"
Maggie: "No. And I won't eat your gefilte fish either. You can shove it up your butt."
DUC: "Would you eat my baloney?"
Maggie: "I'm eating your baloney right now. It's just flowing out of your mouth."
I take my tape recorder and put it between her legs.
DUC: "Hold my tape recorder right there."
Maggie: "It's right between my legs."
DUC: "What's the last book you read?"
Maggie: "I just reread The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I love it. They have a DVD out it and I watched that after. The sarcasm was great. I like English TV shows. I just got the DVD set of Fawlty Towers."
Star smokes a cigarette.
I struggle to tighten the cord attached to my digital camera.
DUC: "Are you really strong?"
Star: "Yes."
DUC: "Could you tighten that for me?"
Star does and makes it much tighter than I could do.
Star: "I work out. I have to play bass so my fingers and arms are tight."
DUC: "Are you sure you don't want to wear a wig on your head when you get married and fast on Yom Kippur? And keep the Sabbath?"
Star: "Are you trying to propose to me and turn me into Jewish?"
DUC: "Yeah. Am I compromising my journalistic values?"
Star: "You're pretty good but being porn you can't get too technical with the questions because most girls don't have answers like I do."
DUC: "Some of them have really funny answers like Violet Blue."
Star: "How could you blame just one ethnicity for Jesus dying?"
I'm falling in love with this girl.
Star: "I listen to negative music because it is the truth. The singers put their heart into it and they are saying something true about their lives and their suffering. We relate to that. I love Tool. Maynard puts words out... He's an amazing writer. His philosophy. What bothers him about the world. They sing about truth, not about 'I've got money and bitches and hos.' What we go through every day to live. If I didn't have that, I think I'd be in a mental institution."
I follow Maggie into the make-up room.
DUC, and part of me is serious, addresses Maggie: "I've been thinking and I don't want you to do the scene. I will take care of you."
She giggles. I walk away.
Two minutes later, I walk into Rob's room. Maggie Star is down on her knees before a Vietnamese guy. Her top is down. She's blowing him.
I feel my heart breaking. I'm appalled.
The guy put four marbles in his penis while serving time in prison. He says women like the sensation.
Maggie gets up and pulls up her top.
Rob: "What do they feel like? Real marbles?"
Maggie: "Yeah, they move around."