View Single Post
Old 07-27-2010, 08:02 AM  
Princess Ellisa
Confirmed User
 
Princess Ellisa's Avatar
 
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In my own lil' bubble.
Posts: 1,883
29.What's the worst thing that ever happened to you when intoxicated? Best?

I had to think about this for a while. The truth is that even when I am really drunk I am pretty good at not getting out of hand.

I think the worst thing that could happen to anyone when they are intoxicated is that they could get behind the wheel of a car. I am not proud of this moment, but I was 22, I felt that I was invincible,it was Spring Break and we were on a budget of about $40 a day or something like that, so bad decisions were made.

Myself and 3 friends were partying in SoBe. We had found a bar that was $20 for the 2 boys and $10 for the 2 girls to drink as much as you wanted. We were all on the way to having a really fun and wasted night. When all of a sudden one of the guys said to me "Ellisa you better go and help your girlfriend." I of course couldn't understand why she would need my help being that she was actually a good 4 years older than me, maybe more. Until I got to the dance floor and found my beautiful, blond friend in the middle of a bunch of Russian dudes, dancing, in her bra and waving her shirt around in her hand.

Now personally given we were in SoBe and the amount of clothes other girls were wearing in comparison to her I would say that she was still mostly dressed. Unfortunately the bouncer who had spotted her in the same moment didn't feel that was the case.

I went over and pulled her out of the circle she was in, getting a ton of dirty looks from the Russian dudes as I did. In that moment the very large monkey-like bouncer told me that I had to take my friend and leave. I tried to explain that she was in diabetic shock and that she really would be fine as I hauled her off to the bathroom.

I know, terrible excuse but it was what first came to mind and since I had no idea that this is NOT what diabetic shock might look like it was plausible in my mind. I got her shirt back on in the washroom where we hung out for about 30 minutes. When we left I was so sure that the bouncer would never recognize us and we could just slip back into the crowd. WRONG! He had waited outside of the washrooms and as soon as we appeared we were promptly escorted to the back door leading into the alley behind the club.

I attempted to nicely, politely and in every lady like way explain that we were Canadian and that our friends that were still inside needed to be at least notified where we had gone, as this was before any of us were carrying cell phones regularly.

The bouncer did not care. What happened next was not necessarily my fault, as if he had just been some what reasonable I would have been in and out in less than 5 minutes.

I am 5 foot 3 and half inches tall to the bouncers 6 something body of huge muscles. I don't think I hurt him but he was just not expecting me... I through an upper cut into his chin and while he was confused I kicked him in the shin so I could run back into the bar past him. I found my two male friends who had now been drinking for about another hour and surrounded by hot chicks. They did not want to leave, however saw they had no choice as the bouncer started to make his way through the club towards me, and out of the door we went.

Now my girlfriend had been having A LOT of fun on this trip and we had aptly nicknamed her back-alley Jackie because of where her last encounter had taken place. There had been tons of hot guys every where we went but the boys didn`t feel they were getting much love. Until of course on this night when we got thrown out.

As we walked down the street the string of things that my one, very drunk friend, was now screaming at her were atrocious but really funny: "You fucking whore, if we had been kicked out and you were getting laid you would have made us all wait, you get your pussy eaten and fucked all day long but I have a chance finally with one, hot girl on this whole trip and you get your cunt kicked out of the bar!" That is maybe not an accurate quotation but you get the idea.

All the way down Washington he is screaming at her from about 10 paces behind us. So we decided it was time to go home. We had a 30 minute drive back to Hollywood and no one was really in the condition to do this, but no one had money to spare for cab fare either.

Sooo the decision was, excluding Back Alley Jackie we would throw the keys high into the air and whoever they landed closest to would drive. They landed at my feet. I put my two feuding friends in the back together so they could kill each other and my other friend sat up front with me.

We got almost to Bal Harbor when I see 2 red lights in my rear view mirror and hear a siren. Being drunk, rather than pull over I pull onto a road that leads into an underground parking type area and a dead end. The police officer followed us down. As I had no seat belt on I tell my two asshole friends, who are now physically wrestling, to STFU in the backseat and I jump out of the car and run over to the police officer's window.

"Oh officer I am so happy to see you. My friends and I are from Toronto," as I gestured over to our Canadian license plates, "we are so lost and scared. I heard Miami has some really bad neighborhoods and we don't think we are going the right way back to Hollywood. Can you please help us?" I asked in my very sweetest and most sober voice.

"Well you are going exactly right, just come back up out of here and get back on the A1A and take it all the way to where you are headed."

I smiled, thanked him for saving our lives and ran back to our car. Being sure to put on my seat belt, and thankful my 2 warring friends had finally simmered down, I began to pull away. As I did the police officer motioned for me to put down the window again. I did. He said to me "Miss, just so you know, I had actually pulled you over to give a $350 speeding ticket. Please slow down."

"Yes sir," I replied. I drove us the rest of the way home. Feeling incredibly lucky to have dodged the speeding ticket. That said, I should have been feeling incredibly lucky in that we managed to not get killed doing something so incredibly stupid.

I think that was actually probably the best AND worst thing that happened to me while intoxicated. Kids don't try this at home!
__________________


Skype: PrincessEllisa1
ellisa at pink label dot .com
Princess of Everything,
Pink Label
Princess Ellisa is offline   Share thread on Digg Share thread on Twitter Share thread on Reddit Share thread on Facebook Reply With Quote