There's two ways a person can commit suicide psychologically.
One would be as a means of escaping life and leaving behind a sincere apology to those you've hurt while thanking them for all the good they've done.
The other would be one meant to hurt and force guilt on those they left behind even though it's not justifiable.
Going only by your post I'd say this guy was of the latter and his suicide was purposely done in a way to leave your friend hurt and feeling guilty.
I feel he didn't want here to have the gun for future protection, he wants her to have it in her possession so it's a constant reminder to her of what he's done. In his eyes it's what she's made him do.
His other behavior, done mostly in private suggest his controlling behavior and this type of suicide is a way to control her even after his death.
Your friend need's know that it's not her fault and steps should be taken to remove all guilt from her. Her eyes need to be opened to know exactly how this guy thought.
She is very lucky that he didn't take her with him.
A few weeks ago and just a few blocks over from my place a man went to his ex wife's house It was 8:00 in the morning and kids were walking by on the way to school. He knocked on the door and the ex wife's new husband started to come to the door when the guy outside opened fire shooting through all the windows and door. He escaped out the back door and ran down the street but the guy with the gun ran him down and shot him dead on the sidewalk.
The wife was already on her way to work but for some reason had turned around and came back home. She pulled up just as her new husband was getting shot, saw what was happening and put the car in reverse but her ex was still able to shoot her dead in the car. It rolled back into a tree. Then standing there on the sidewalk with both people dead and the neighbors watching out the windows, the guy turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.
When a person reaches a point where taking a life is ok whether it's someone else or their own it can be a dangerous and volatile situation. Your friend should find comfort in knowing he didn't take her with him.
Removing guilt should be the main focus and she doesn't deserve to be saddled with it.
Sounds like she has some really great friends and a great support group is now more important that ever. I hope you can find a way to help her through this trying time. It will take some time but the key is to get her thinking in the right direction.
I wish you and your friend the best
