Last night a good friend of mines husband shot himself. They were together for almost 20 years. He was a chiropractor and they had moved to a small town in South Dakota, because he believed in a lot of government conspiracies. She had only been around him and worked in his office for the last 10 years. They had a lot of friends and he was a funny guy. But you could feel a lot of arrogance stemming from insecurities and because of that he was always belittling her. Sometimes to the point where you almost wanted to say something to him, but then he would settle down and say something nice or funny to change the subject and it felt like he was trying to push the people around him and/or show control or power over her or something.
Anyway his office slowed down so she decided to go out and get a side job. When she got out there everyone loved her, thought she was funny, thought she was great and had great ideas… then she would come home and he, being who he was, would behave a certain way, she realized what he was like and what he was doing to her. It really opened her eyes to how much he had put her down and how much she had lost her self esteem. She hadn't noticed it before... you know how that can be when you are use to someone and you don't know until you get away from them how they really are. After thinking about it for a while, she decided to leave him but she was scared of how he would handle it. Everyone she talked to, which was myself and couple other girlfriends, were also worried about how he would react... She hurried, packed a bag, left a Dear John note and left. They talked on the phone a few times the next day and he told her that he had been thinking about ending it too, and asked her to come by the house and exchange cars. He wanted the car she took. I told her not to go... it sounded like he was looking to fight and I don't believe he was thinking of ending things too. She made an excuse and said she couldn't get out there due to work and 2 days later he sent this email out to his friends in CA and shot himself.
When I read it I can't help but to wonder what he meant by certain things like:
Leaving her the gun he used?
Telling his friend not to be mad at her?
Saying he left her rich, when they were on hard times and were close to broke?
Also hidden money? None of his friends, or her, have heard him talk about hidden money.
It sounds to me like he is trying to make her feel bad or something. I feel bad for the guy. It breaks my heart to think about that pain. I feel really bad for her. She is going through insane thoughts, blaming herself for everything. It horrible to see the pain in her over this and it makes me so mad that he did this too her. Then I feel like I am wrong for thinking like that because he is dead. I don’t know…
I know a few of you have dealt with suicide. I have never, and I thought maybe I could get a few opinions about this letter so when I talk to her I can make help her out...I have a few assumptions myself... It is just sad all around...
The Letter