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Old 05-07-2003, 07:38 PM  
Smegma
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,751
I Love The Police

Tonight, I am sitting on the shiter taking a grumper reading a magazine minding my own fucking business, wife is downstairs with the kids.. when all of a sudden..

3 Pounding Knocks on the door...

BAM.. BAM.. BAM..

These are not just any kind of knocks.. they are full fist "let me in, I know my wife's in der'..." kinda knocks followed by someone excessively rining the door bell.

Then I hear.. Hey dude.. your house is on fire!

I pinch it off and run downstairs... run to the fucking door.. my wife is grabbing the kids.

Open the door.. and some PUNK FUCKING COLLEGE KID hands me a flyer selling STEAKS!

You know that kinda' mad you get where vision starts to get fuzzy.. fight or flight kicks in... and something else takes over... and your just along for the ride... kinda mad??? Welcome to my world 15 minutes ago.

I looked back at my wife... told her to go back inside and call the police.. I said it loud enough for this guy to here.

I close the door behind me and walk up to him and lay into him like a Drill Sergeant would lay into a new recruit.

Then this guy says "I gota make a buck old man, chill!"

At this point my neighbors were outside.. on my side non-the-less, some of them having this done to them a few minutes earlier. We have a mob around this kid 12 grown angry men and some punk kid when the cops roll up.

THEN this fucker tries to head-but me.. and run.. mistake.

I laid the smack down on him so hard the police had to tear me away. The poor guy pissed himself.

Long story short.. when the cops heard what he did (and he didn't deny it).. and saw him try and head-butt me.. they put in the report it was in self defense and hauled the guy off to Jail!

Life does have it's moments.. I'm sill pumped. More details later.
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