Originally Posted by Adult Rental Chris

This goes back a few years when I was working in online gaming.

A friend of mine named Rob and I were out cruising. I had taken the day off b/c I accrued too much OT and opted for a couple lieu days. We went to the the Audi dealership to drop off his TT for yet another recall and we walked over to the BMW dealership to look at some special M5 he heard they had. I was wearing just some ratty jeans and a regular short sleeve shirt. My friend Rob was dressed in his usual summer attire, a wife beater, cargo shorts and flipflops.

We walk in and head over to the where the M5 is in the show room. The doors are locked and nobody is coming up or giving us the time of day for 10 minutes. He looks over at the only sales guy not busy that's just standing with a coffee cup in his hand looking at us and and pretty much shouts "A little help here would be nice!".
Everyone in the dealership just quiets down and starts staring at us. Rob then say "Oh right my bad", reaches in his pocket, takes out a tie and puts it around his neck and say "How about now?" The sales guy just turns around and sits at his desk.

I just died laughing at this point. I was certain the cops were going to show up any minute. My buddy was mad at this point.

Now when I tell you Rob is a smooth talker, he's a fucking smooth talker! He could go to Bestbuy and order a $200 13" tv and have them deliver it and set it up for free, that's how good he was. He already knew there was a good chance he wouldn't be taken seriously upon walking into BMW, so he purposely put a tie in his pocket just to say and do this. It didn't go quite as planned however, as he expected the sales guy to come over and at least say something.

The receptionist looked like she was laughing at the scenario so we head over to her and my buddy asks if there's anyone that can help him outside of the "coffee cup douche over there". She said the other two sales people were currently occupied and before she could finish, he reaches down and grab out the wad of cash he had on him which was $20k.

He plops $300 down and asks her to please have the owner come down here and its yours. She called the owner but insisted not taking the $300. At this point "coffee cup douche" comes over after seeing Rob put the money back in his pocket and asks if he needs some assistance with the M5.

Rob looks at him and tells him "You're kidding me right? You had your chance and blew it. Here (he takes off the tie and gives it to him) you can have this and wear it when you explain to your wife why you're bringing home spam for dinner tonight"
About half-way through him telling "coffee cup douche" this, the owner of the dealership came around the corner and saw him handing the tie over.

My buddy then looks at the owner, shakes his hand while introducing himself politely and says "I have three requests: 1) I would like the keys for the M5 to look inside and take it for a quick test drive. 2) If I like it then I will put $20k cash down right now and bring the rest of the cash price we have negotiated on within an hour and 3) All the commisision goes to the receptionist."

The owner chucked and said "With pleasure, let me grab the keys, a dealer plate and get the show door open and let's go for a ride."

The owner personally drove us to get a certified check for the remainder of the purchase price Rob negotiated down, took us for lunch, threw in a ton of extra's for cleaning, scotchguarding, extended maintenance warrenty etc, and threw in a bunch of free swag from the parts store.

The receptionist got the commission as requested and the owner even brought her in during the whole process to have her "learn the ropes". She ended up getting promoted a few months later and 'coffee cup douche' was let go.

Unfortunately the car met with an unfortunate end a couple years later when an Escalade ran a red and t-boned it on the passenger side.