Wow, I don't really know you ma'am but I have been where you are at! With me it was 98% my fault, the pain pills, the drinking.. I went from a father of two a paramedic firefighter owing a house car etc to living in a 8 by ten garage without running water or a bathroom. It was only me and my two boys at the time and the shit I was going through was the toughest time of my life..
I tried very very hard to do the right things and ended up screwing up really bad. I have done things that I am not proud of and things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Hell I even wanted to die, didn't want to do nothing but feel sorry for myself. I then had some help from people I didn't know from strangers and I pulled myself out of the gutter and got cleaned up!
I will tell you it was the hardest thing I have ever done.. My kids are my life my kids are the main reason I am alive my kids are everything to me. What I am trying to say is stay strong take help when given, go out ask for help take care of yourself so you can take care of your child. I have been clean and sober now for 5 year going on the 6th in June ;) It has been a real struggle to get where I am at. But well worth it. If I can do it then anyone really can! If I can be of help please let me know. Good luck and Have a Merry Christmas.
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