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Lori,
I do not understand all you are writing but I do understand that you have have quite some heavy stuff landing on your back. Why not talk to a professional about it? when you break your leg you go to a doctor. With this kind of stuff you see other professionals. Taking from your story money problems are there. There are people out there that listen to you for free and are able to help you.
You are a good person and I hope you will find strength again. You deserve it.
Patrick
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