Mr Pheer

I was adopted by a very wealthy family when I was 18 months old. Pay attention because the story gets complicated.

I dont exactly know the whole story why I was adopted, because nobody will tell me. My biological mother kept in touch a little at first, I guess it scared her that I could remember she was "mommy". When I was 4 years old, my adopted parents divorced, my adopted father got custody, adopted mom got visitation every other weekend. My adopted father remarried soon afterwards to a very mean woman that had 2 daughters, both older than me. It was no secret that she married my adopted dad for his money. My adopted father contracted lung cancer soon afterwards, and it spread into his liver and brain. He lost his memory, was in alot of pain, and finaly died when I was seven years old.

When he died, I had to go live with my adopted mother, who had also remarried an italian alcoholic motherfucker that had a habit of beating on her. She too became an alcoholic, no surprise since they owned 5 nightclubs and the drinks were basicly free. As the old saying goes, shit rolls down hill... He would beat her, she would beat me. this went on for years. I never told anyone because she told me she would kill me if I ever told, and I totaly believed her. I've been beat with coat hangars, extension cords, a garden rake, and axe handle one time, pretty much whatever was in reach that she could swing at me. Once a year, on thanksgiving, my biological mother and her husband would come over for dinner, and I always got to go home with them for that one weekend. I looked forward to that all year long. When you are a kid, you dont realize that they only live 40 miles away... they always made it seem like it was such a big deal to make the trip to see me once a year. They never would listen to me when I told them the things that happened at home either. Right before my 17th birthday, I hauled ass. Took what I could carry and went to stay with my girlfriend and her mom. I dropped out of school, got a job at walmart and a hardware store. Me and my girlfriend got married when we were 18 and got our own place to stay. I didnt talk to my adopted mom for three years, and only then because I needed my birth certificate when I joined the army. The night before I left for the army was the last time I talked to my biological mom.

Growing up with the abuse made me a very angry and aggressive person, and that allowed me to excell in the army. The army let me do pretty much anything I wanted.. I volunteered to go everywhere and for every school that they would let me go to. This kept me away from home and me and the wife divorced. We didnt have kids so it was really a burden lifted off my back. Me and my adopted mom gradualy started speaking to each again. Her and my sted dad divorced and I guess she was lonely. I stayed in the army for 7 years, earned 14 medals, but was tired of being told what to do and tired of the low pay so when my 2nd enlistment was up, I got out. I changed alot in the army, I grew up and got rid of the anger and the aggressive temper. But I promised myself that when I got out, I was going to put a total asswhipping on my stepdad. He liked to hit me when I was a kid, but I'm a man now and he deserved what he had coming. The fucker ripped me off by having a heart attack and dying three days before I got home. I guess he did me a favor by saving me the jailtime.

When I got home I started a landscaping business, and started doing adult websites. Wasnt long before the websites started making more money than landscaping, so I sold off the business. Me and my adopted mom started to devolop a friendship, I tried to forgive her for all the fucked up shit during my childhood, but it was very hard. A couple years later, me and a girl I grew up with started dating, she got pregnant. When she told me she was pregnant I wanted to kill myself. But I didnt. She had our son, and we got married 6 months later. Having a kid totaly changed me again. My son is the coolest thing i've ever seen, and he made me open my eyes to just how fucked up my childhood really was. The anger came back, I hated my adopted mom, and I hated my biological mother even more for giving me up in the first place. I look at my son and he is so amazing, I wonder how anyone could ever give up thier child, or scream at thier child, or hit thier child. I didnt want to deny my son knowing his grandmother, but I would never let her take him out of my sight.

One day she just stopped coming to see him, and she only lived a quater mile away. When it reached a year that she hadnt visited or called to check on her grandson, I said fuck this shit, bought a house in Las Vegas and moved here a couple months ago. I dont think I could be happier than I am now. I finaly got my adopted mother out of my life, hopefully for good. I hear that my biological mother is dying from some rare blood disease and has asked to see me... thats not going to happen. Havent talked to her in 18 years, why ruin a good thing.

Right now, you are in a tough situation. Your biological mother wants to meet you... and I know the decision is like ripping you in half. I cant advise you whether to meet her or not... but I can tell you that if I had never known I was adopted, it would only be one less person that I hate right now. You have to consider, do you really want to meet the person that gave you away? It sounds like you probably had a pretty happy life... why fuck with it? You havent known her up till now and it doesnt sound like it has bothered you much.

But then again, she could be a totaly wonderful person, and maybe she has a very valid reason for what she did. This is one of those situations where no matter what you decide to do, you will most likely wish you had decided the opposite.

I'm 32 now, and there has been many times that I wished I could have met my biological dad, but not anymore. I'm afraid of taking the risk of fucking up my head even more. I'm sure I'm better off not knowing him.

Take your time thinking this over, because this is going to be a very tough decision to make, and it will affect you in ways that you havent considered if you meet her. Maybe good, but probably not. She has waited 35 years, making her wait a little longer, or forever, wont hurt you.

If you want to talk about it more, my icq is 3983861

Peace