Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

Start every sentence you say to her with: "Listen Butterface..." Do this over and over again until she asks why you keep calling her "butterface". Then tell her: You'll never make any money because a guy will see you and go, 'She's hot BUT HER FACE needs a bag on it.'

Then gently shove her out the door while she's crying. Or hang up, same thing. Good luck!