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Old 09-28-2009, 03:51 PM  
The Porn Nerd
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Start every sentence you say to her with: "Listen Butterface..." Do this over and over again until she asks why you keep calling her "butterface". Then tell her: You'll never make any money because a guy will see you and go, 'She's hot BUT HER FACE needs a bag on it.'

Then gently shove her out the door while she's crying. Or hang up, same thing. Good luck!
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