Quote:
Originally posted by Jamdin
That's okay, I'm on spam lists for the following:
Enlarge your breasts
Enlarge your penis
Shrink your tummy
Increase your sex drive
Russian lolitas on the farms
Buy a new car
Sell on ebay
And finally God Is Love!
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Me too! And add to that, every variation of the Nigerian/Congolese/Togoese/Zimbabwean scam.
Just got the Zimbabwe variation this morning, this is what I replied:
Dear Mr Welemoh
I was most surprised and delighted to receive your letter. It comes as an
absolute godsend, as I have been in a quandary for quite some time as to how
I could salvage my finances for the rest of this year. I am not sure if you
are totally familiar with the details of my financial situation, so I will
summarise them for you.
When my father, Lord Douglas Hepplewhaite, married my mother, Lady Cordelia
Fernackerpan-Featherstonehaugh, it was very much against the wishes of my
paternal grandfather, who promptly disowned my father. My parents then
relocated to Kinshasha, where my father went to work for my mother's uncle
Patrique DeRuddere, as accountant for the small diamond-mine that he
operated. Things went well for some time, until uncle Patrique was attacked
and severely injured by a gorilla. He died a few days later. Upon the
reading of his last will and testament it transpired that he had left
everything (his house in the Congo, the diamond mine and all concessions, as
well as his estate outside Gent in Belgium) to my parents.
Being quite wealthy now, my parents moved to Dorsett in the United Kingdom
(which is where I was born soon thereafter), and were welcomed back into the
family by my grandfather...I supposed he was lonely after the death of my
grandmother 2 years previously, and decided to renew the blood ties. I was 5
years old when the troubles in the Congo started, and my parents went back
there to try and salvage what they could. That turned out to be a very
unwise decision, as they were both killed in the subsequent uprising.
As my grandfather was now my legal guardian, he took over my care. The money
that I inhereited from my parents (the proceeds of the diamond mine, which
had been nationalised by the new Congolese government, and the proceeds of
the sale of the estate in Belgium as well as the estate in Dorsett) was put
into trust at Lloyds of London, where it has been accrueing steadily all
these years. I lived on my grandfather's estate in Surrey untill I went to
finishing school in Switserland, and he died while I was there.
His will turned out to be rather odd. I was the sole heir, but all the money
was put into the same trust with my previous inheritence. (The paintings and
art-work, which I belive is worth quite a bit of money as well, at least the
Van Goghs and the Rembrandt and the Ming vases are, all went into storage) I
suppose he didn't think much of my business acumen, because he stipulated in
his will that I was to receive only the interest from the money in the
trust. The trust would be dissolved if I were to marry, but only if the
marriage were to last at least 10 years, or otherwise on the first of
January 2004. As I never married, the trust, apart from the interest, has
been untouched to date, and the money will be released early next year.
I have been living in Amsterdam for quite some years now, running a small
art gallery. Up until a year ago I have managed to get by on the interest
from the trust, (which comes to about 3000 Pounds Sterling per month), and
the proceeds of my gallery, but the last year has been very difficult. The
switch from the Guilder to the Euro has caused all prices to rise sharply,
and I have not been selling much from the gallery. I still have almost a
whole year to go before I can have access to the money in the trust, and
quite frankly I was getting rather worried about my finances.
That is why I was so delighted to receive your letter. It is a unique
opportunity for me, as the 20% you mentioned should just tide me over nicely
until January.
Please let me know how to proceed.
Yours sincerely
Penelope-Ann Hepplewhaite