Originally Posted by dyna mo

hopefully, as you put more years of sobriety under your belt, you will evolve to simply living life and not fighting demons from your past on a daily basis.

i recommend you to read the big book of aa. it's a quick read and can give you some great insight, since you are doing this alone.

bill w., the author, had many of the same views/traits as you.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/