Originally Posted by carlosthegaucho

did i tell you this one already?

Couple years ago in the summer i went for a comeback / high school reunion party around my hometown.

Somehow i was charming enough ot more presumably we both were drunk enough that i picked up a girl that i used to see at the high school and that i always found rather sexy.

Around midnight we found that we are sitting besides each other, and went a lil bit intimate. So it didn't take too long and about 5 am the party was almost over and we had nowhere to go to finish the job, so we decided to try the luck on one of the tables.

Yet hell there was still this one stoner who had to mess around all the time, and i wasn't able nor did i want to get rid of him violently.

So there we go, "let's go to your place" i say.

We are crawling like half an hour with 4 promiles of alcohol in blood around the whole small town (or a village) lookin like sid and nancy, half drunk. Half naked making an occassional display of drunk passion on the way to get to her house.

As we get closer she starts to get somehow nervous and tries to explain me something with her raspy voice, broken intonation and very less sense that i partly can't and partly don't want to understand.

So i don't care and tell her not to worry, i ain't no genius after an avalanche of beer and jäger at 6 am but i'm damn self confident that nothing can go wrong!

And that there'll be an adonis conquering another bedroom in a bit - i was looking forward to a romantic zombie sex.

So the morning sun (nothing is more annoying when you are a little bit too much) is shining on the two horny zombies and we come to her place, a three stock house that's a lot of space to use i think.

So she says "shhhh" quiet and i assure her no one gets buzzed in the house.

Not to waste time i am immediately doing a passionate undressing scene on the stairs, something between a teenager magazine and jack nicholson in "postman rings twice", then we continue through the bathroom, again very passionate and wild scene then we move one stock up heading to get to her bedroom in a second - the final destination is close...

Well there is a kitchen on the way yet so i think why not to try out some "the postman rings twice" again, my shirt is left on stairs and i sure have a lots of apetite for a "breakfeast" .

But then the hollywood ended - "jane!" a very nervous woman in early 50's turns up in the kitchen doorway with a cup of coffee. Well someone didn't tell me she recently moved back home, and i'm feeling like being 17 agan.

Anyway i was far too much drunk so i say good morning! And i don't care!

I am telling to myself my own logic - why should she care we can lock the door!

So i give her what i think is a smile (terrible drunken grim) and i am still dedicated to take care of her daughter and i continue to the bedroom..

The mother comes over and she ain't looking very relaxed - "sir you have to leave this house immediately ".

Now i start to sober up, so i decide to leave not to make trouble. That's their business i only hesitate i didn't go for some wild free nature sex on the way there.

The last thing i decide is to straighten up things and explain the mother that i haven't come there only so me and her daughter could have some animal sex (which was the only reason of course, she was no stranger to one night stands either).

So i say the cliches like "we know each other for a long time" "it's not like an overnight thing" "..." crap like this and she seems to be embarrassed and almost smiling, i didn't get it, what the hell was she amused with?

So i come out of the house and once the wind starts to blow, there's this summer morning breeze and i feel what is the reason why she couldn't say a word while i was saying the whole bullshit story to her..

I had my pants unzipped and my cock was out the whole time!

Well the lesson learned - never wait or choose any destination and go for it anywhere, no matter how public place it is!