Ha ha that reminds me of an incident in the 80's when I lived in this house with a couple of roomates. The main guy was this dude who was ok but there were drugs around and stuff which was no big deal, but he would get kind of nutty at times. He rented to me and this other dude.
The main dude decides that he is going away for the weekend to the snow I guess, and the other roomate is away also. So I have this big house to myself all weekend.
So on Saturday night after drinking and playing the TV and the stereo all day and night I decide to go to bed.
I'm sleepin and it must be about 3 or 4 in the morning or something and I had no clothes on. Suddenly I'm awakened by a huge bang in one of the other rooms. I laid there a moment with my heart pounding and then I heard someone stomping around and slamming stuff around the house.
By now my heart is pounding and I am petrified. There is someone in the house, and they sound violent, and they obviously do not care if somebody hears them. So of course I assume I am probably a dead man if I do not get out of the house somehow.
I grabbed the only thing I could find quickly, which was a dress shirt and it was not a long one if you know what I mean. I threw it on and climbed out the window naked like that. I had to scale the wooden backyard fence that was as high as my forehead with just this shirt on. And let me tell you I was movin fast.
I was afraid that whoever it was might have become aware of my presence and would try to stop me.
So there I am out on a residential street at 3 AM naked except for a shirt that I am trying to pull over my balls and my butt and wondering what to do next.
I got a block away and knocked on a neighbors door. I had to laugh. They came to the door and when I explained the situation they called the police for me.
The cops got there fast and were looking at me funny. Hey, what do I care, at least I got out of the house.
We went back to the house and the main roomates car was parked in the driveway.
The problem was, I thought he had taken his van.
The cops shined lights on the house and somebody came to the window.
Guess what, it was the dumb roomate. They made him come outside and had me identify him before they would assume that things were ok.
It turns out that he had not been having a good time on his weekend adventure so he decided to come home. I guess he was beginning to come down off his high and was feeling kind of shitty. He walks into the kitchen and takes something out of the cabinet and a bunch of stuff fell out onto the floor. He was not pleased. He became enraged and began ripping the doors off the cabinetry and throwing them and emptying the silverware drawer out all over the floor. This would be about the time that I woke up and my little naked adventure began.
We both thought it was pretty funny and I had no hard feelings.
But I do know what it feels like to think there might really be someone in the house who might not have your best interest at heart.
It's quite a rush!
